01:40:05

For our annual Spring Pledge Drive, we have created a special two-episode series called Herbarium Heist. In this Dungeons and Dragons campaign set in a Lady Science world full of magic-wielding scientists and historical cameos, your hosts, joined by special guests Stephen McGann from “Call the Mdiwife,” Alexis Pedrick from Distillations Podcast, and Jessica Lynn Parsons from “The Dungeon Run,” embark on a mission to save 19th century London from a cholera epidemic.

To support our pledge drive and become Lady Science Patron, visit patreon.com/ladyscience.

Cast

Dungeon Master: Anna Reser
Voice over: Stephen McGann
Winifred “Freddy” Ruthenium: Leila McNeill
Isabel McPherson: Rebecca Ortenberg
Henrietta “Henri” Elmwood: Jessica Lynn Parsons
Scapula “Bones” Jones: Alexis Pedrick

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Credits

Production and mixing: Leila McNeill

Music

Waltz Of The Skeleton Keys by WombatNoisesAudio | https://soundcloud.com/user-734462061
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Waltz of the Flowers by Tchaikovsky
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Chase by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com
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Sound

Pain part 1 & 2 by kenspublicdomain
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Walk in dry leaves in the forest by devy32
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Dogs running in a forest by ramagochi
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Twig snapping by giddster
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Cutting with a kitchen knife by edhutschek
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Kitchen.PlatesScraping.Faucet by jessepash
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Cutlery Clank Sound by Caroline Ford 
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Plate shatter break sound by Mike Koenig
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Aggressive guard dogs by Oneirophile 
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Destruction, Wooden by InspectorJ
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Draw bow and fire by Mike Koenig
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Break-window by Kneeling
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Explosion by frolickingdp1
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Transcript

Transcription by Julia Pass

Leila:   Previously on Herbarium Heist:

Leila:   I'm gonna be playing Winifred Ruthenium, and she likes to be called Freddy.

Rebecca:         I am playing Isabel McPherson.

Alexis: I am playing Scapula Jones, who also likes to go by her favorite nickname, Bones.

Jessica:            And I'm playing Henrietta Elmwood.

Anna:  You have received a letter, and it came to you bound with a red ribbon.

Alexis: "I will await you at the servants' entrance to the Herbarium, near the river. Yours most faithfully, M. S."

Jessica:            "Who is this 'M. S.'? Does anyone know this person?"

Anna:  And then all of a sudden the one in front of you, Henri, explodes out from the mound, and you see a skull. And it's wearing a very fancy wig. And four skeletons wearing wigs start reaching their hands up out of the dirt.

Leila:   Freddy's gonna go get that wig and wear it.

Anna:  She opens the door, and she looks at all of you, and she just says, "What?"

Jessica:            "Might I ask your name?"

Anna:  "I suppose you might, if you must. It's Caroline Herschel. The Herbarium is all the way at the other end of the garden from my home. The director has made you take the long way."

Alexis: "Who are you?"

Anna:  "I'm Mary, Mary Anning, and this is Tray, my dog. Tray has just been at Caroline's, and he told me what you're doing and what your mission is. And I think the best thing to do is to get you right along on your way. But I'll do my best to help you. I'll send Tray with you, and he is an excellent scout. In order to get to the Herbarium as quickly as possible would be to go across the lake."

Anna:  And she plays a little tune, and you see something beginning to emerge from the water. As it approaches the shore where Mary is playing her little tune. And Mary turns around, and she puts her hands on her hips, and she says, "Do you like him? He's a plesiosaur. You know, I discovered those."

Jessica:            "We're going to ride it?"

Anna:  "Oh, yes, just like a ferry.

Anna:  So you've arrived in a totally different part of the garden.

Leila:   Well, Freddy hops off of the plesiosaur and looks at everyone else and says, "Shall we continue?"

Jessica:            "Yes. And perhaps Tray should go ahead and scout for a bit just in case there's some sort of danger. I mean, tropical plants, you never know what they're going to do."

Anna:  Yeah. He can go up to 120 feet ahead and send you a Message, so he'll do that. He just sort of trots along ahead of you and disappears around a bend in the path. And after about a minute or so, he Messages Freddy. And he is a magic dog, but he can't talk, so he sends you kind of an image, Freddy.

Anna:  And you see what looks like, from Tray's perspective, an enormous glass dome at the end of the path that is filled with more tropical plants. And it looks to you like a greenhouse like you saw before, but of a different shape and seems to have different plants inside. That's what Tray shows you. And he comes back.

Leila:   Okay. Okay. Well, I relay that to the team.

Jessica:            "Well, I do adore plants, so I say we should carry on ahead."

Alexis: Yes, and just judging from the fun experiences we've had so far, Bones draws her rapier and says, "Let's just be ready, shall we, ladies?" And then walks.

Jessica:            "Yes." I'll pull out my spade.

Alexis: Yeah. And then I'm following. I'm ready. I'm on board.

Rebecca:         And I'm gettin' out my ice axe again for similar reasons.

Anna:  Okay. You follow the path where Tray went, and you see more or less what Tray saw. Freddy, it looks smaller to you because you're a person and not a tiny dog, but it is a domed greenhouse, and you can see, with your own perspective and not Tray's perspective, that it's actually domed but long. It's like a big hotdog-shaped greenhouse.

Alexis: Yes, the famous hotdog-shaped greenhouse. Yes.

Anna:  That's the technical description. I did a lot of research, guys. And you see that there are all kinds of lush-looking palms, like some lower to the ground and some that reach all the way up to the ceiling of the greenhouse and kind of spread out against the glass. And there's date palms. There's other kinds of palms.

Anna:  That's all the palms I know. Lotsa palm trees in there. And you see, lettered above the entrance to the greenhouse, it says, "Palm House." So you know there's palm trees in there and stuff. And there is a door that you can enter.

Jessica:            Oh. Is it locked?

Anna:  It is not locked.

Jessica:            "Let's go, ladies."

Rebecca:         "Let's go in."

Alexis: "Let's go in."

Anna:  It is very warm in here and pretty quiet. What is your marching order?

Jessica:            I'll go first.

Leila:   I'll go after Henri.

Rebecca:         I'll go next. I'll go after.

Anna:  Okay. Henri, Freddy, and then—

Rebecca:         Isabel.

Alexis: Bones is always bringin' up the rear.

Anna:  So, Henri, you are sort of moving cautiously through this greenhouse, kinda looking around. And, Henri, will you make for me a Perception check, please?

Jessica:            Perception. Roll well for me, baby. Bad. Bad. Bad die. 9.

Anna:  You see a lotta plants that you recognize, and that's about it.

Jessica:            "Ladies, this seems to be just a greenhouse. Let's keep going."

Alexis: "Okay."

Rebecca:         "Okay."

Jessica:            Is there any sense of magic?

Anna:  Yeah. Make an Arcana check.

Jessica:            Okay. Different die 'cause you suck.

Alexis: Yeah. That dice is betraying you.

Jessica:            Better. Better. That is a 17.

Anna:  Yeah. You can't localize it, but there is something at work here. I think if you had to guess, you would say that it was some kind of transmutation magic, but this is magic, so you don't have a super good sense of it. But there's somethin' tinglin' around in this greenhouse.

Jessica:            "I'm sensing that something may not be as it seems in here. Everyone, be on your guard."

Anna:  So you're about halfway through the greenhouse now. And, Freddy, you're next in the marching order. Make a Perception check.

Leila:   That's gonna be a 18.

Anna:  Okay. You hear something, Freddy. It's very faint and very quick, and it mighta been something that one of the other members of your party did, but you hear a "Ah."

Jessica:            It's Tray. He can talk.

Leila:   Okay. So Freddy's gonna just stop in her tracks. And she's gonna say, "Sh! Be quiet." And she's gonna wait to hear it again.

Anna:  "[Groans] Ah."

Leila:   Do I have a sense of where it's coming from?

Anna:  It's coming from your left. 

Leila:   "There is a groaning sound coming from that way."

Jessica:            "Human?"

Alexis: Oh. Oh. Okay. So Bones signals like, "Okay, I get it," and Bones wants to pull out her archaeologist tools, which includes a mirror. And Bones just wants to sorta try and angle the mirror in the direction that you've been saying to try and get a better look and see if there's something in the bushes we can see.

Anna:  Roll d20 and add 6 to use your thieves' tools.

Alexis: All right. 16.

Anna:  You're kind of turning the mirror around. It's a mirror on a stick, right? For looking under things?

Alexis: Yeah. Yeah. For archaeology reasons.

Anna:  Okay. You're kind of turning it around.

Rebecca:         Sure.

Anna:  Yeah. Of course. And you see there's sort of a thick clump of whatever kind of palmettos, and it's a very dense clump. You catch a glimpse of—and this is weird, and it strikes you as weird—what looks like the toe of a brogue shoe. Like you can see the little perforated kind of design on the leather, and that's what you see.

Alexis: Ooh. Okay. So I am whispering and sort of signaling to everyone that "Hey, over there in the bushes, I can see the outline—maybe there's a shoe. Maybe there's a person. But let's all be sneaky and quiet about it," I say, making direct eye contact with Henri.

Jessica:            "Well, look, look, this could go one of two ways, all right? The first way is we encounter this individual or whatever it is and we perhaps glean some more information about what is to come, or we completely avoid confrontation altogether and just get out as quickly as possible. What do you think, Bones? Did they look like they were in distress?"

Alexis: "I mean, I couldn't see anything besides just sorta the shoe, but that combined with the noises you heard makes me think they might be in trouble."

Jessica:            "Hm, and it could be a trap."

Alexis: "I'm selfish, but I'm not that selfish. We should help."

Jessica:            "I have an idea. We're in a greenhouse. This is my happy place." And I'll cast Druidcraft on just a nearby plant to where Bones has identified this person/thing. And I'll make a couple of flowers blossom or just plants grow from the soil, just to kind of nudge this thing to see what it'll do. But, again, I don't know exactly where it is, since only she could kinda see it in the mirror, so I'm just kind of casting Druidcraft in that direction to all of the little plants I can see.

Anna:  That is very cool, and it looks very cool. And as some little sort of flowers and shoots kind of sprout up around this clump of palmetto, you see one of the sort of fronds of the palmetto start moving a little bit. And then it just sort of reaches out and slaps the plants that you're growing around it, and as it does this, you see from where that frond was a human hand kind of flop out of this cluster of palmetto and start waving around.

Jessica:            "Hello?"

Rebecca:         "Hello?"

Jessica:            "Are you in trouble?"

Anna:  You hear a muffled screaming. And as the arm is sort of flailing around, the other palmetto fronds kind of unfurl and start hitting it and kind of curling around it and pulling the arm back in. And it's time to roll for initiative 'cause this palmetto has come to life.

Jessica:            So the palmetto is—so the arms are of the palm, or they are human arms being trapped by a palm?

Anna:  The palmetto is moving around, and it seems like there's somebody inside of this palmetto clump. And you woke it up.

Rebecca:         So this is like a giant-ass Venus flytrap situation or something.

Alexis: Yeah. Yeah. Bones is comin' in hot with a 21 for initiative 'cause it's time.

Jessica:            Henri is way distracted. She rolled a 3.

Leila:   Freddy rolled a 15.

Rebecca:         And I am also way distracted. I rolled a 5.

Leila:   It is a very shocking image, I'm sure.

Alexis: Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lotta plants in here, so I can see how that'd be distracting.

Anna:  Bones, you're up first. What do you do?

Alexis: All right. Bones already drew her rapier 'cause she had a sense that trouble might be coming, and so Bones immediately sort of just gracefully just kinda leaps forward and slices at one of the palms to see if she can slice it off. 20. Does that hit?

Anna:  It does hit. Yeah.

Alexis: I do 9 damage, and just my roguish sort of archetype being, I use my Cunning Action after I leap forward and do that slice to immediately disengage and sort of leap out of the way so that I don't provoke any attacks of opportunity.

Anna:  You swipe at this palm with your sword, and you hit it, but as you sort of make contact with the frond, your blade doesn't go all the way through. It's sort of very thick, kinda fibrous plant matter, and you actually do half damage.

Alexis: "Well, ladies, this is gonna be a challenge."

Jessica:            "Especially because it seems a victim is inside of this plant, so I can't just Call Lightning upon it, or it'll zap the person inside."

Rebecca:         "That would be bad."

Anna:  Yes. As Bones hits it and it gets a little slice in one of its palm fronds, it rears back and lifts up a lot of its leaves, and you can see kind of tangled up there at the base of the palm frond and kind of held into the roots of the palmetto and into its stocks and stuff, there are two people. They are men.

Alexis: I mean, eh.

Jessica:            "Oh. Oh. Oh, men? Leave 'em."

Rebecca:         "Never mind."

Alexis: We leave.

Jessica:            We just drop all of our weapons like, "Eh, yeah."

Alexis: Eh. What are you gonna do? You win some, you lose some.

Rebecca:         Do we recognize either of these men?

Anna:  You can't see their faces. They're just kind of a tangle of limbs. But they're wearing nice dress shoes. They look like maybe they're dressed for the party. Freddy, it's your turn.

Leila:   Okay. She is going to pull her hands up, and she's gonna move them around. And she's going to conjure a bubble of acid. And she is going to hurl it at the palm. And the palm needs to roll a DEX save.

Alexis: Yeah, palm.

Anna:  That is not this tree's strong suit.

Leila:   I figured that might be the case.

Anna:  That is a 6 - 2. No, that's not 6. That's 3 - 2.

Leila:   Okay. Lemme roll damage. That's going to be 4 points of damage.

Anna:  Right. Oh, I'm all "Who's next?" That's my job. The fuckin' monster's next. So Bones is out of range 'cause you did your Cunning Action and did a Dash, right?

Alexis: Yeah. Yep.

Anna:  Okay. The plant is going to kind of fold together a bunch of its palms and rear back and try to smash into Isabel.

Rebecca:         "Augh!"

Alexis: Aw, Isabel.

Anna:  18.

Rebecca:         "Augh!"

Alexis: "Oh, no! Look out, look out!

Rebecca:         "Augh!"

Anna:  Yeah, you get whacked. 7 points of damage. You get smooshed by the tree.

Rebecca:         Ouch. Ouch.

Jessica:            Oh, man, I never healed from last—

Anna:  You're gonna take a second to just pound some Goodberries?

Jessica:            Yes.

Rebecca:         Yeah. So yeah. I fall down. I get smooshed.

Anna:  Okay. Henri, it's your turn.

Jessica:            I suddenly remember that I was hurt by the last time, and I nurse where I've been slashed. I don't remember exactly what happened. But is there a way for us to—well, no. Hm. Okay. All of my spells would also hurt these victims, so I'm going to be a little crazy plant lady and cast Speak With Plants. And let's see. Give them the ability to communicate with you and follow your simple commands.

Alexis: Oh, I like where this is going.

Leila:   Nice. Nice

Jessica:            Okay. You can communicate with it as if you share a common language, but you gain no magical ability to influence it. Oh. The spell can cause the plants created by the Entangle spell to release a restrained creature.

Jessica:            So I'm going to try, just RP-wise, I'm gonna cast Speak With Plants and say, "Uh, hello. I know you're on a bit of a bind at the moment and we've just sort of intruded upon your home, but, look, I know it's not ideal to be kept in this greenhouse, right? You just want open air, perhaps to be in your home forest. But you have to understand that those plants, they don't have it as good as you, right?

Jessica:            "You get fed every day. You're in a climate-controlled environment. Just trust me when I say you're in a good place, all right? So there's no need for this anger, okay? Just release your victims, and I promise you, I'll ask the gardener to give you a bit of extra fertilizer. Everything'll be just fine. What do you think?"

Anna:  The plant, which just smashed Isabel and was turning, it kind of turns toward you and sort of stops as you cast this spell. And its little fronds are just—well, its big fronds are just kind of waving around while it listens to you.

Jessica:            I was gonna say if it doesn't wanna follow my commands, which it totally has free will still, I guess my secondary hope is just to at least distract it so that someone else might have advantage on hitting it or something. And with my bonus action, I'm gonna toss Isabel two more Goodberries.

Anna:  It slowly kind of lifts up and unfolds, and then just, poof, just ejects these two dudes out from under.

Jessica:            "Oh! Good boy or girl!"

Anna:  And they kind of skid across the floor at your feet, and they're just two guys in their fancy evening dress. And they're kinda out of it. They're just sort of on the ground just like, "Ugh."

Jessica:            "Thank you so much!"

Rebecca:         "Henri, stop talk—let's get out of here."

Jessica:            "Okay. Okay. I'll chat with you later."

Anna:  The tree rears up again to try to smash you.

Jessica:            "What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get the boys. Get the boys."

Leila:   Freddy's grabbed the wrists of one of them and is trying to pull them along while Tray is grabbing at the collar trying to pull them out of the way.

Anna:  Okay. Freddy, the tree's gonna make an attack of opportunity against you 'cause you're trying to escape. That's a 24.

Leila:   Well, yeah, that hits.

Alexis: Okay, but does it hit the dog?

Anna:  No. Tray's like *zip zip zip*

Alexis: Oh, good. Okay. Okay. I mean, no burn on you, Freddy, but we gotta protect that dog.

Anna:  That's 7 points of tree-smashing damage.

Jessica:            Oof, man. Yeah, we gotta pound some Goodberries when we're outta here.

Anna:  Are you guys running?

Alexis: Yeah. I mean, there's two dudes, right, Freddy? You have one. The other one still needs to be pulled outta the way, right? Is that correct?

Anna:  Mm-hmm.

Rebecca:         Yeah. Does someone wanna help me? Someone grabs the wrists and someone grab the ankles, and let's go with this other dude?

Alexis: Yeah. We could do that, or I have a rope, so I could just lasso him and pull him along.

Rebecca:         Oh, that works. Yeah, let's do that.

Alexis: Stay outta range of the tree.

Anna:  Okay. If you wanna do that, make a straight-up Dexterity.

Alexis: Okay. Okay. So 17.

Anna:  Yeah, that'll do it. You kind of get a lasso around this dude, and you're able to drag him away from the plant without going back into range. So you guys [unclear 00:23:55].

Alexis: Yes. Absolutely.

Anna:  As fast as you can, right?

Alexis: I mean, but isn't that how it always is?

Rebecca:         Too real. It's a metaphor of everything.

Alexis: It's a metaphor.

Anna:  As you sort of get towards—you're in the back half of the greenhouse now, and you can see that there's another door. And as you are lugging these boys along with you, you see the palmetto just kind of wave around a little bit and then freeze. So you're out of initiative, and you've found some boys.

Leila:   We have some boys.

Anna:  Yeah, you got some boys.

Jessica:            Shall we slap them awake?

Alexis: Absolutely.

Rebecca:         Yes. Yes. Are we outside the greenhouse? Are we still inside?

Anna:  I don't know. Are you?

Jessica:            Let's try to get out. Let's try to get out of the greenhouse. I don't know how many more of those plants are angry at their position there.

Anna:  And then you're gonna try to rouse these sleepy men?

Leila:   I'm just gonna slap mine.

Jessica:            Go for it.

Anna:  All right. You wake these boys up. And they sit up, and they shake their heads. "Ugh. What happened?"

Leila:   "You tell us, dear. We did save you, so a thank you first, perhaps."

Alexis: "Yeah. It feels like a thank-you is in order in this situation just to kick things off so we're all on the same page."

Anna:  "That tree attacked us! How is that possible? You rescued us?"

Alexis: "Of course."

Jessica:            "Now you're catching on."

Anna:  "Well done, you! Wait, who are you?”

Jessica:            "We're going to the gala as invited attendees.”

Alexis: "Yes."

Leila:   "I'm Sir Isaac Newton, and I am asking you who you are first."

Anna:  "Well, no, no, you're not. That much is clear. Yes, well, we just came from there, or rather we did right before we were attacked by that tree."

Alexis: "And what were you doing leaving the party going in this direction, if I may ask?"

Anna:  They look at each other very guiltily, and they both blush. And they say, "Just getting a little fresh air. You know, it's quite crowded there at the party."

Jessica:            "Are you two in love? Were you trying to sneak away for a little kiss? It's fine."

Anna:  "Oh, of course not! That's preposterous. We are colleagues. Isn't that right, Thomas?" "Yes, quite right. Indeed, Nikola."

Jessica:            "I have a question. As we said, we saved you from some dire circumstances, and we've had the misfortune to lose our invitations to the gala. Might we borrow yours?"

Anna:  "Our invitation?"

Jessica:            "Yes, or just take a quick look at it."

Anna:  "Well, I think that would be, first of all, highly irregular, and second of all, we already gave them to the footman, you know, when we first went into the party. You don't get to keep them."

Jessica:            "Yes. Oh, that's where we misplaced ours. We gave it to the footman, right, so we should be fine to get in. Yes. Yes."

Anna:  "Oh, right. Of course you did."

Alexis: "I mean, but since you're standing here, having gone out together to get some fresh air, perhaps you could escort us back to the party."

Anna:  "Oh, absolutely not. We're just leaving."

Jessica:            DM is like, "No. You guys have to work with us. It ain't that easy."

Rebecca:         Also they seem pretty useless, to be fair. Yeah.

Alexis: They do. They do seem pretty useless. So however, honestly, Bones just can't help herself. And so she is sort of saying, "Oh, well, of course we understand" and is patting them like, "Of course. So sorry." And is just doing a little Sleight of Hand just a little [unclear 00:28:17] into their coats to see if she can pick up anything good.

Jessica:            Oh, rogue doin' rogue stuff.

Anna:  Make a Sleight of Hand check.

Alexis: Yes indeed. I am thrilled to—oh, wow. I'm comin' in hot, y'all. Let's see. What do I add to—oh, wow. Okay. This is a 17 + 9.

Anna:  Yeah. "That'll do it," she says. Yeah. You do a quick little pickpocket of the one that you dragged out of there, and you find a handkerchief. It's clean, don't worry.

Alexis: Oh, thank God.

Anna:  Yeah. Don't want you to get any boy bogies on you.

Alexis: I was concerned.

Anna:  And you find a pocket watch. And you also find an American quarter.

Alexis: Ah. I love it. Yeah. I keep all those things, and I just continue to smile like, "Ha, ha, see you later. Bye."

Jessica:            "Bye, boys. Bye-bye."

Anna:  Just for your new items, the pocket watch is just a pocket watch, but the quarter is magic, and it has one charge of Disguise Self. And if you wanna use it, you have to flip it. Heads, it works. Tails, you have to wait until another time.

Alexis: Oh, my gosh. That's awesome.

Anna:  So the two gentlemen kinda unrumple their clothes and get palm fronds out of their hair and are making way to leave. And the one that you dragged out, Bones, says, "Nikola, let's go." And the other says, "Coming, Thomas." And they head back in the direction of the greenhouse.

Jessica:            "I knew it! They were kissing. They were kissing."

Anna:  And they leave you, and you are now alone. The path leads away into the dark. It is pretty much dusk now, like pretty much dark. The sun has gone down, so it's gloomy. And ahead of you, you can see that it gets pretty dark where this path goes. But you do see little points of light that are very faint, and they are kind of different colors ahead of you on the path. But that's all you can see from your position.

Anna:  Hi, all. This is Anna, your dungeon master. I hope you're enjoying part two of the Herbarium Heist. This special episode is part of our spring pledge drive on Patreon. From April 20th through the 27th, we are asking you to help us raise our rates for writers and editors. Our current rate for writers is $100 per piece, and we wanna double that to $200 in order to pay writers a more competitive rate for their fantastic, thoughtful work.

Anna:  We are entirely reader- and listener-supported, so we can only do this with your help. If you make a monthly pledge during our pledge drive right now, you'll receive a very cool thank-you postcard featuring the map of Kew Gardens that was adapted for this role-playing game and illustrated by me, myself. So head on over to our Patreon—that's patreon.com/ladyscience—to pledge now. And please help us spread the word. Share these special episodes with your friends and family and help us grow Lady Science. And now back to the Herbarium Heist.

Anna:  Ahead of you on the path, you can see lights in the distance. They are stationary lights, but there are quite a few of them. Maybe lanterns? You're not sure. You do hear more sounds than you have heard in the garden so far and what sounds like might be voices up ahead where you see these lanterns.

Jessica:            "Have we found the gala?"

Alexis: "I think we're getting closer. I think we found it."

Anna:  Are you headed in that direction?

Rebecca:         Yes.

Alexis: Yeah. Let's go.

Jessica:            "So I think we're looking for the servants' entrance, right? Since we don't have official invitations."

Rebecca:         "That's what the letter said, yes."

Anna:  You head down the path, and Tray is sort of running around your feet and smelling things and peeing on stuff. And as you draw closer, you do now hear more distinctly voices, and you can see that there are lanterns in the trees. And you see the shape of a large building sort of start to emerge out of the gloom. You're still in the trees that are kinda bordering this area, and so you're kind of unseen, but you can see through them to what you presume is the Herbarium.

Anna:  There is a kind of big gravel area out in front with a fountain, and there are people kind of milling around out there. The sort of façade of the Herbarium is lit very dramatically from below, sorta like big floodlights shining at the front of the building. It's five floors that you can see, and you're kind of off to the side, but you can see that there's big sort of broad steps that lead up to doors in the front that are thrown open. There's light pouring out from the entry hall. There are people on the steps mingling and whatever, going into the party.

Anna:  And on either side of the doors, there are two footmen in green livery that are very diligently checking everyone's invitations. So that seems like maybe a no-go. And as you're sort of assessing the situation and what you see, you hear the snap of a twig to your right. And emerging from between the trees to your right is a woman. And she is dressed in her finest gala-attending dress, and around her throat you can see she has tied in a bow a little red ribbon.

Leila:   "M. S."

Jessica:            "Oh, M. S."

Anna:  She walks up to you, and she hisses, "What took you so long?"

Rebecca:         "We had to go the long way around."

Alexis: "Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lotta things happening in the long way around."

Jessica:            "We had to save two men from a plant that was trying to kill it. It was a whole thing.

Anna:  "Now why would you bother saving men? My goodness. Come along. Come with me. Come on. I'll take you around to the back." She leads you kind of through the edge of the tree line so that you stay hidden and around toward the back of the Herbarium, and the voices of the gala-goers who are out front fade. And she's just kind of marching along.

Leila:   I'm gonna whisper to Bones and say, "Do you know who that is?"

Alexis: And I shrug and say, "I guess M. S., whatever that stands for."

Anna:  She turns around, and she says, "Somerville, darlings. Mary Somerville." So she leads you around to the back of the Herbarium, and it is darker here. And there aren't the cool floodlights illuminating the building, but you can see there's light coming out of a wooden door that's open.

Anna:  This must be the servants' entrance, and there's kind of barrels and crates and various things out here. So she stops you all at the servants' entrance, and she says, "I'm glad you came, at least. I would have thought you would have be able to steal an invitation, but that's fine. We'll figure it out. What I need you to do, since you can't go into the party, definitely not looking like that." She looks at Freddy.

Rebecca:         Oh, Freddy.

Anna:  "You're gonna need to sneak in, go all the way up to the top floor where the director's office is. And in there is a medieval herbal. I need you to get it and bring it to the ferry, where I'll meet you. And then I will take it back to my—lair? To my lab, where we'll be able to synthesize a cure for the cholera. I will go back to the party and distract the director. You won't have much time to get to the top, and I don't know what will be waiting for you when you do."

Alexis: "All right. Leave it to us. We can do it."

Anna:  "You'll see when you go in there it's quite busy. You'll need to go through the kitchen and then up the back staircase where the footmen go to take food. But once you get into the entrance hall, you will be visible to the partygoers, so you'll have to sneak up onto the next landing and then go up floor by floor until you get to the top."

Jessica:            Did Bones tell us that the quarter can cast Disguise Self?

Alexis: Yes. Yeah. I do. I told you what I got, and I am tryin' to figure out what the best disguise would be for the quarter, since it's only got one use.

Jessica:            "Well, you could either be a servant who's shepherding us to somewhere, or one of us who's good at sneaking, like you, could replicate someone who seems to be of high status."

Leila:   "But if she is a servant pretending to lead us around, she can say that she caught us doing something we weren't supposed to and is just taking us out of the party."

Jessica:            "Whoever is disguised as the servant could sneak in, get servant garb from wherever it's stored, give it to us, we'll change because you're right. We look dirty, we look disheveled, and we certainly don't have the correct gala attire, so maybe that's the answer."

Alexis: Perfect. Okay. That's what we're gonna do. 

Rebecca:         I like it. I like it.

Alexis: So I wanna use the American quarter that has a special Disguise Self charge. I pull it out of my pocket. I'm very dramatic about it. And I say, "Well, let's see how this works." And I toss it into the air to see if it lands heads or tails.

Anna:  Roll a d6.

Alexis: Okay. 2.

Anna:  Yeah. It lands heads up.

Alexis: Yay. All right. So I like to imagine just some sparkles come down from the sky, and all of a sudden I'm just dressed like a servant and I look like I belong there. And I just tell you all to give me a quick minute, and then I wanna walk into the back door of the kitchen, just like I belong there. And I wanna look around for where extra servant uniforms are kept. In the extra servant uniform room.

Anna:  Make an Investigation check with advantage since you're disguised.

Alexis: Ooh. Okay. All right. So the first one was gonna be a 7, which is not good, but the second one came out as a 15.

Anna:  All right. That'll do it. You head into the kitchen, and there is a melee of cooks in there working furiously to prepare food. And you take a quick glance around, and you can see that this is all just kitchen stuff in here. So you go back out into the hallway, and you see a set of cabinets that kind of are lining the hallway all the way down. And you open them, and inside there are very neatly folded footmen's livery, and there are also maids' black gowns and aprons in little caps. It's all in there.

Alexis: All right. Okay. So yeah. So I grab a buncha the maids' aprons and caps and just sort of look around like, "Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious" and then make my way back out to you guys. And I say, "Ladies, I believe these are our invitations." Hand 'em over to you. And then I take a bow. Take a bow.

Leila:   Okay. That was a very good scene. Yes.

Anna:  Mary just kind of looks at all of you and says, "All right. Well, uh, I have to return to the party. I'll try to keep the director occupied as long as possible, but if you don't get back to the ferry in an hour and a half, I'll have to leave without you."

Jessica:            I wanna look around, too, once I've changed, for some props for us since we're outside the servants' door. I don't know what would be outside, really, but even if there's trash or storage or something so we have a tray or food or something to have in our hands.

Anna:  Yeah. I mean, outside you're gonna find things like buckets and rags that are on a rack drying, so you could get some of those if you wanted.

Alexis: No. I think this is perfect.

Anna:  So you go into the servants' hallway, and Mary told you that you need to go up the back staircase that's at the end of the kitchen, which is where footmen go up the stairs to deliver food to the ballrooms where the gala is happening.

Jessica:            "Let's go maybe two by two since it might be a bit weird if four servants are going up."

Leila:   Yeah. Yeah. I'll go first. Freddy'll go first.

Alexis: Yeah. Bones and Freddy. Yeah. A dynamic duo gettin' up these stairs.

Anna:  Will you both make for me a Performance check? With advantage because you are in disguise and everyone is very busy.

Alexis: Absolutely.

Leila:   I got a critical failure.

Rebecca:         No!

Anna:  That's the first one so far. You guys have been doing pretty good.

Alexis: Damn. I got a 19. We are the best of us and the worst of us right now.

Anna:  Bones, you just march into that kitchen like it's your kitchen. And you say hi to people like you know them. You stick your pinky into a pot of bubbling sauce or something and taste it, and you're like, "Ooh, that's even better than last week." And you just make this amazing little circuit through the kitchen and get to the staircase. You high-five a footman who's [unclear 00:44:49].

Alexis: Yes! This is the best.

Anna:  Nobody suspects anything. These people have known you their whole lives.

Alexis: I am like, "This is my house. George, game next week. Game next week. No, you bring the wine. You bring the wine." All right. Perfect.

Anna:  Freddy, you just walk directly into one of the women who is tending the pots on the stove. Just kind of weirdly, clumsily, you just careen into her. And she's holding a ladle with some sauce in it, and it goes flying, and it kind of splatters everybody with sauce. And everybody in the kitchen stops and turns around and looks at you.

Leila:   "Uh, I'm gonna go."

Alexis: Could Bones help her out and just yell out somethin' like, "Good old Deidre, always splashin' everyone with sauce."

Anna:  Yeah. Yeah. Freddy just backs up down the stairs. Or Bones does that and, yeah, bails you out. You sort of slink up the stairs, and everyone is just looking at you, horrified by your behavior. And then the head cook bangs her cleaver on the cutting board and says, "Back to work!" And everybody goes back to work.

Alexis: "God, Deidre, what's your problem?"

Anna:  "Geez, Deidre, get your shit together." Right. Isabel and Henri. Yeah. Isabel and Henri, roll Performance.

Jessica:            Okay. Roll well for me, baby. Oh, my God. I rolled so bad.

Rebecca:         I got 12.

Jessica:            8.

Anna:  As a matter of expediency, you make it through, but, Isabel, you catch your sleeve on the corner of the big, scrubbed wooden table, and you rip your sleeve and trip a little. And the head cook slams her cleaver down again, and she says, "Get out of here! What is happening? What is wrong with everyone?" And you are able to make it to the staircase.

Rebecca:         "Well, we have not made many friends tonight, ladies."

Leila:   "But we have all become closer."

Alexis: "Exactly. Exactly."

Anna:  So at the top of these stairs, you can see out of this door, which a footman has left open, it's not just you guys. The whole staff just is off tonight. I don't know what's happening. So you can see this little doorway is kind of hidden in a little nook and opens into the entrance hall of the main house of the Herbarium. And you can see that the entrance hall has a marble floor. It is very big. Sorry.

Anna:  It runs the length of the building, and it also extends up, like the middle of it extends up multiple floors so you can see there are landings above you and to either side of the entrance hall or the ballrooms. And then there are people crossing between both ballrooms, and footmen are passing hors d'oeuvres and stuff.

Anna:  There's a long runner on the floor. There are 10 chandeliers overhead, big crystal chandeliers. It is very grand. Potted palm trees. And to your right, if you look down that way towards the end of the entrance hall, you see a big carpeted staircase that leads up to the first landing. And then there are other staircases that lead up to the next floors.

Jessica:            Yeah. Let's make a beeline for those stairs, then, if that appears to be the way to the herbal.

Anna:  Yeah. And since you're in disguise, I will let you just get up to the first-floor landing there with no problem as long as you don't dilly-dally around. No one's really paying attention. The gala is on the first floor, so no one's looking at the end of the entry hall.

Alexis: Perfect. Perfect. Yes. No, we don't dilly-dally. We stay focused. I mean, for a moment Bones is looking at those crystal chandeliers like, "Could I?" but—

Rebecca:         "This is not the time."

Alexis: "No. This is not the time. Get your head in the game." And she just goes right upstairs.

Anna:  Okay. So now you're on the first-floor landing. It goes all the way around. And you're at the sort of back end towards the back part of the Herbarium. If you were to go all the way around to the front, opposite where you are—you can look across the kind of open atrium of the entrance hall—you can see a staircase going up. And then on either side there are three doors. And that's what you see.

Jessica:            We don't know, based on the instruction from Mary, where exactly to go?

Anna:  You know that the director's office is on the top floor.

Alexis: "Okay. So we gotta keep tryin' to go upstairs, right?"

Rebecca:         "Yes."

Jessica:            "I'm just as curious as you are about these other doors, but I think time is of the essence."

Alexis: "Yes, we must stay focused. Fine."

Anna:  Bones is struggling.

Alexis: "So many treasures to be uncovered. Not stolen. That's not a word I would use ever. Yeah."

Rebecca:         "All right. Let's keep goin'."

Alexis: "Let's keep goin' towards the stairs."

Anna:  Okay. So you're just gonna go around and get to that other staircase at the opposite end.

Alexis: Yep.

Anna:  Great. There's nobody up here. You make it to the stairs just fine.

Alexis: Oh, to be a servant.

Anna:  Do you go up them?

Alexis: Yeah. Let's go.

Anna:  Yeah. That was a really good idea.

Alexis: Yeah, 'cause no one cares about us.

Anna:  Exactly. There woulda been more stealthing going on if you were not invisible non-people now. Okay. So you go up the stairs, and it spits you out onto another landing. And this floor is enclosed, so the bottom of this floor is the roof of the entrance hall. As you kind of step onto the floor, you see that it's one huge room that takes up the entire floor.

Anna:  The whole room is filled with rows and rows and rows and rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of chest-height countertops that are kind of six or eight feet long, and they're kind of spaced out in a grid in the whole room. You can see that the counters are sitting on these stacks of shelves with drawers. So on either of the long sides, there are just these banks of drawers, like 10 or 12 of them.

Alexis: Bones leans onto Henri and is like, "This is a trap for me. This is a trap for me. Help me stay focused."

Jessica:            "It's all right. Yes. I believe in you."

Anna:  You've got this huge layout of these counters sitting on top of these cases of flat file kind of drawers, and then on top of the counters, each one has a lamp or two. And there are dried plants lying on the counters. There are magnifying glasses. There are books, pens, ink. And you can see at certain ones of these counters, there are stools next to them. They look like little workstations, and all of them are covered with plant specimens. And you can see at the other end of the room, opposite where you are, there's another staircase.

Alexis: "Oh, man. This is a trap for all of us. Oh, no."

Rebecca:         "This is."

Alexis: "Oh, no." Bones cracks her neck. She's stretching.

Rebecca:         Isabel is doing her best not to touch anything, but if there is microscopes, she might peek in to see if there's anything interesting there or might just look at cool stuff while she wanders through the workbenches.

Anna:  Okay. Yeah. You do see a microscope, and it has a slide loaded up on it. So you stop at this workbench that has a couple of trays of seedlings on the bench, and there's a microscope and some books and papers and stuff that were left out. And you lean over and peer into the microscope, and you see a plant cell.

Rebecca:         Cool.

Anna:  And I would also like you to roll a d6 for me.

Jessica:            Uh-oh.

Alexis: Uh-oh.

Rebecca:         2.

Anna:  As you are peering at this plant cell in the microscope, you feel something touching your wrist, which is kind of resting on the workbench. And as you look up, you see that some of the seedlings in these trays have kind of started growing. It's the best way you can describe it.

Anna:  And they're reaching out and curling little tendrils around your wrist. And the process is accelerating. And now it's kinda grabbing your wrist, and more tendrils are coming out of the seed tray.

Rebecca:         "Oh. Uh, uh, ladies, um, um, I did something." Can I still get away?

Anna:  Make for me a Strength saving throw. So roll. You're pretty strong.

Rebecca:         I'm pretty strong. Oh, yeah. I got 22.

Anna:  Okay. Yeah. You rip your hand out of the grasp of these little seedling guys, and they sort of like, "Ooh."

Jessica:            "I told you to watch out!"

Rebecca:         "I thought I was. Let's go, guys. Let's take off."

Jessica:            "Yes, let's go to the stairs. We're running out of time. We only had an hour."

Anna:  Right. Okay. You're getting through the rest of the specimen room? Just run? You just kind of—

Jessica:            Yeah. Well, yeah, we only have an hour to meet her back at this ferry, so we should probably go as quickly as possible.

Alexis: Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            We've already probably been in there for 20 minutes.

Alexis: Yeah. Bones says, being the person who encouraged everyone to do this, "Hurry up."

Anna:  All right. You get to the stairs, and you rush up the stairs, and you emerge into the next floor, the third floor, I guess. And this one looks sort of much like the first floor. There are just closed doors. On either side there's a big sort of open sitting area on one side. Think of a gentleman's club kind of place, like with individual chairs with a little table that are all facing out of these big windows for people to read in.

Anna:  Then on the other side there's a row of offices, and there's doors. And then again at the other end of the hallway—not a very accessible building.

Jessica:            Let's beeline it.

Anna:  Okay. You're just gonna run straight through to the other side?

Alexis: Heck yes.

Jessica:            Yeah. No time to waste.

Anna:  You get to the staircase and go up the top. And you know that you are entering the top floor of the building.

Rebecca:         "All right, ladies. I think it's time for us to be watchful."

Alexis: "Yes. Yes. Yep."

Leila:   I'm gonna send Tray up the stairs.

Anna:  Oh, that's a good idea.

Leila:   Yeah. Tray's still with us.

Jessica:            "He's been with us this whole time? A dog?"

Anna:  Maybe he's been hiding under someone's skirts as you move through the more populated areas. Yeah. He's quite small.

Rebecca:         He's been hiding with Freddy.

Anna:  Okay. So yeah. You send Tray ahead up the stairs. And he sends back to you, Freddy, an image of you can see there's a long carpet stretching out ahead, and to either side of Tray are cabinets or wood panels of some kind, but there are multiples of them and they kind of recede into the distance. You're not 100% sure what that is. Tray kind of looks to either side, and you can see that they look maybe like bookshelves from his perspective. You can see the bottom of the bookshelf.

Anna:  And there is something in the middle of the room that Tray can't really make it out 'cause it's kinda far away and also his perspective. He's not sure what it is. He can't transmit to you an image. But that's what you see. But there's no moving people or anything like that, and you don't see any plants in Tray's immediate surrounding.

Jessica:            "I think it's clear. I think we can go ahead and go on up."

Leila:   "Let's do it."

Alexis: "Let's go. We're bargin' in."

Anna:  You get up to the very top floor, and what you see is that you are in a library. You're standing in the sort of center of the library, and you can see that there's a corridor that runs down the middle of the library, all the way to—in the distance you can see a door. Between you and the door, there is a statue in the middle of the room.

Anna:  And to either side of you are rows of bookshelves that kind of recede back. So perpendicular to the left and right walls of the Herbarium. And that goes on for about half of the floor. And then there's a wall. And there's a door in the wall that you can see and a statue in the middle of the room.

Alexis: Bones says, "In my work experience, much like skeletons, statues are often not pleased to see me. So, everyone, just ladies, keep your eyes on the statue, and let's just be careful and be prepared.

Jessica:            "And we're heading towards the door?"

Alexis: "Yes."

Rebecca:         Is the statue in any way labeled? I'm sorry! Sometimes they have a little plaque. That's just who it is.

Alexis: No. So smart. I love it.

Anna:  If you would like to investigate the statue, you can go up to it.

Rebecca:         I'm going to investigate the statue.

Anna:  Sure. Roll an Investigation check for me.

Rebecca:         Sure. Oh, for God's sake. 7.

Anna:  Okay. You can see that it is a statue of a woman. And she is facing to your right, kind of looking down between two rows of bookshelves. She's dressed really nicely. She is wearing a dress that looks like—I mean, she's carved out of stone, so it has a kind of fur collar with a really low neckline. You can see she's wearing a ribbon necklace that has a little key pendant on it. She's pretty. I don't know.

Rebecca:         Okay. Well, but she's looking at one of the bookshelves, right?

Anna:  She's looking between the bookshelves. She's just facing left. Yeah.

Leila:   Can I do an Investigation on the area where she seems to be facing or looking?

Anna:  Yeah. You walk in between this set of bookshelves.

Leila:   17.

Anna:  You go in between the stacks at the end of the bookshelves, so what would be the wall of the Herbarium. There is a painting. And with your 17, you definitely have seen something like this before. There is a totally shredded Greek hero.

Alexis: Okay. Okay. Interesting. Like where this is going.

Anna:  Yeah, standing kind of in the entrance to a cave. And he's got one be-sandaled foot on a rock, and he's holding a Medusa's head. And he has a big, silver shield. It's a painting of the myth of Perseus. You've seen that shit before.

Leila:   The statue appears to be facing towards looking at the painting?

Anna:  Yeah.

Leila:   Freddy's gonna take a stab at this and is going to reach up to the painting and take her wig off and cover Medusa's face with her wig.

Alexis: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

Jessica:            Oh, yeah.

Alexis: You see, this is why they brought us in. That's right. You see that wig? We problem solve. We get in here. We do the work. We problem solve.

Anna:  Isabel, you're standing right next to the statue when it turns its head away from the painting where it was looking and turns to you. Reaches out a hand toward you.

Rebecca:         In a nice way? Does she look like she's going to hit me or like she's going to shake my hand, is what I'm asking?

Alexis: Or give you something magical.

Anna:  She's just sort of reaching out toward you like this.

Rebecca:         Okay. I do take a step back because the statue is moving, but I don't run away. And I say, "Guys, I think I did something again."

Anna:  She steps down off of her little pedestal that she's on, and she says, "Why have you come?"

Rebecca:         "We have come to look at the books. Who are you?"

Anna:  She puts her hand on her chest and says, "Me? The director calls me Mad Madge, but maybe you know me as Margaret Cavendish."

Alexis: "The Margaret Cavendish?"

Rebecca:         "Oh. Oh, well, well, in that case, maybe you can help us. We are actually looking for a specific book."

Anna:  "Oh, indeed? Which is that?"

Rebecca:         "A medieval herbal."

Anna:  "Ah. I know what you're looking for. It's not in this library, unfortunately. It's in the director's office."

Rebecca:         "Oh, yes. And where would that be?"

Anna:  She points down to the door.

Jessica:            "Anything we should be aware of inside of his office that might be dangerous?"

Anna:  "You know, I couldn't say, but I wouldn't put it past him."

Jessica:            "All right. Ladies, it has now been 37 minutes. We have to get going."

Alexis: "All right."

Jessica:            And I'm gonna march towards the door and open it with reckless abandon.

Anna:  No, you're not. It's locked.

Jessica:            No! "Bones, do you have thief tools?"

Alexis: I say, "I do have tools that could help us with this. Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. All right. I think this is my time to shine." And Bones cracks her fingers and is just like, "All right. Let's get into it."

Leila:   "Bones, dear, I think that Mad Madge had a key around her neck."

Rebecca:         "Oh. Yes."

Anna:  She looks up at you, and she's just dangling her necklace.

Alexis: I look simultaneously embarrassed and disappointed.

Anna:  She hands the key to Isabel, and she says, "Oh, goodness. Well, good luck, I suppose."

Rebecca:         "Thank you, Lady Cavendish." So then I go and I get to the door. And I say, "Are we ready, ladies?" and unlock the door.

Anna:  Freddy, what are you doing?

Leila:   I guess I'll drop the cover of the Medusa and go towards the party.

Anna:  Yeah. As you do that, Margaret Cavendish gets back up on her pedestal and back in her original position and turns back into stone.

Rebecca:         So I have the key, and I unlock the door.

Anna:  Are you gonna go in?

Rebecca:         Not immediately. I'm going to look inside first.

Anna:  Okay. What you see is a very nicely appointed office that takes up half the floor. It's quite large. The walls are lined in more bookcases. There are several wide windows that look out at the gardens. On one side of the room is a very, very large carved wooden desk strewn with papers and books. At the other end of the room, there is a sofa and a few chairs in front of a fireplace.

Anna:  And between them, sort of right in front of you, are some pedestals that have glass cloches on top, and there are various objects underneath the cloches. You also see a large book that is open on a book stand thing—me, I'm a historian—and also under a cloche.

Anna:  And you also see, because he turns around and looks at you, a man, a very old man, looks to be, from the looks of him, sitting on the couch in front of the fire. He has a long, white beard, and you can see there is a small bird sitting on his shoulder.

Jessica:            "The heck? Margaret lied to us."

Alexis: "Ugh. She set us up."

Anna:  Yeah, she does that. And he sort of turns around as you open the door, and he says, "What? Who are you? What are you doing in here?"

Jessica:            "Sir, we have come for the medieval herbal, and we will not take no for an answer."

Anna:  He just laughs at you. He guffaws in your face.

Jessica:            I'm also holding my rags and buckets as I say this.

Anna:  He stands up and he turns around. And he says, "What is this? I didn't call for the maids. Who are you?"

Jessica:            "Who are you?"

Alexis: "We'll ask the questions around here, sir, buddy, pal.”

Anna:  He says, "I am Charles Darwin, and this is an outrage. I'm waiting for the director for—" He looks at his pocket watch. "For at least an hour now. We are supposed to have a meeting. Who are you?"

Jessica:            "It doesn't matter who we are. As long as you step aside and allow us to grab what we need, then nothing will happen and no one'll be harmed, all right?"

Anna:  "Allow you to grab what you need. Ah, yes. I will not be doing that. You are thieves, and I will have you fired, and you'll never get a reference in this city again to work anywhere."

Jessica:            "My dear Charles, we are not servants, and you are an old man. Step aside, or you will be in a world of hurt."

Alexis: "That's right."

Rebecca:         "What she said."

Alexis: "Yeah."

Jessica:            "You now have had two chances to step aside. I do not harm people with ill intent, but you only get three chances."

Alexis: "Listen here, Charlie boy. We got work to do." And you know what? Listen, go big or go home. I pull out my rope, and I start lassoing again 'cause we're about to shut this down. Charles is in the way, and I wanna lasso Charles Darwin and tie him up.

Anna:  So as he calls you servants and says he's gonna get you fired, he has a walking stick/cane type of thing, and he pounds it on the ground. And from behind him where you can kind of—you can't see where the couch is. You hear a growling, and emerging from the other side of the couch you see a truly enormous, just unnaturally large bulldog.

Leila:   Aww.

Anna:  And Darwin says, "Huxley, deal with them!" And the bulldog, literally the bulldog's eyes flash red, and smoke starts pouring out of its nose. And we're gonna now need to roll initiative.

Alexis: Oh, man. All right. So I only rolled a 12.

Jessica:            I rolled a dirty 20.

Anna:  Isabel?

Rebecca:         17.

Anna:  Okay. Yeah. Standing before you is a freakishly large bulldog, and he's snorting and snuffling and growling, and his eyes are glowing red. And you notice, now that he's sort of come around the couch and is standing in front of you pawing at the rug, that, unusual for a bulldog, he has very long face furs that kind of wisp off of his face. He is horrible-looking. And, Henri, you're first in the order.

Jessica:            "I told you we're not messing around, and we have exactly 21 minutes to get this book and get back down to a ferry! I don't even know where the ferry is! Ugh!"

Jessica:            So I will Call Lightning into this room. It is a storm cloud in the shape of a cylinder that is 10 feet tall and a 60-foot radius, so it'll cover everything in the room, pretty much, I'm assuming, or at least Charles and the dog. But I can choose where the bolt of lightning comes down, and it's just a 5-foot radius. Is the dog within 5 feet of Charles?

Anna:  Darwin's backing away.

Alexis: Yeah, I bet he is. Yeah.

Anna:  Yeah. So you can hit the dog.

Jessica:            So I'm gonna cast this lightning bolt down onto the dog, and you can make a DEX saving throw for him to only take half damage of 3d10 lightning.

Anna:  14.

Jessica:            That meets my spell save, so he saves. So he'll take half of—ooh. Half of 18 lightning damage.

Anna:  Nice. He does not like that. He yelps. And he's going to charge at you, Henri. So he runs at you, and he's gonna try to—that's a 9.

Jessica:            Yes! I evade! Or my petticoats are too thick!

Anna:  Yeah. He just gets a big mouthful of tulle and lace and stuff, and he [growls].

Jessica:            "Get off! Get off!" I'll kick at him.

Anna:  As he gets close to you, you smell a very strong sulfur-y smell as he's trying to bite you. But you are fine.

Jessica:            Mm. Demon dog.

Anna:  Isabel, it's your turn.

Rebecca:         I take out a longbow and an arrow and shoot it at the dog.

Anna:  Roll to attack.

Rebecca:         Oh, so yeah. I got 16.

Anna:  Yeah, that hits, so roll your damage.

Rebecca:         Cool. 5.

Anna:  All right. Yeah. A arrow sticks into his shoulder. And now he's really mad, and you can see little kind of wisps of fire coming out of his mouth as he's like, [growls]. Freddy.

Leila:   I'm gonna attack him with my cane.

Anna:  Okay.

Leila:   That is a 19.

Anna:  Ooh, yeah, that hits. It's just a dog.

Leila:   And then damage is 4.

Anna:  He's real mad, and he's a little bit bloodied now. And he's not happy. That puts us at Bones.

Alexis: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. So am I in the room already? I must be 'cause I was talkin' to Charles. How far am I from this dog?

Anna:  Well, the dog has run up and bitten Henri, so I guess you're all in melee range of the dog now.

Alexis: All right. Perfect. Okay. So this is gonna be really crazy, but you know what? Go big or go home. So what I wanna do is I want to, being sort of very dexterious and acrobatic, I wanna do a quick jump handspring and jump onto the back of the dog like he's a pony. And then I wanna take two of the daggers on my back and just stab in. That's my plan.

Anna:  Okay. Make an Acrobatics check for me first. Then we'll roll the attack.

Alexis: Okay. Oh. Okay. Fingers crossed. 24.

Anna:  Okay, yeah. You jump onto the dog's back, and you get out your daggers. Roll to attack.

Alexis: All right. 14 + 6 to attack with my daggers. 

Anna:  Yeah. That hits. Roll some damage.

Alexis: Okay. All right. So it's only 5 damage 'cause they're daggers, but I am on the back of this thing, and I am just hangin' on. I'm tryin' to just do anything to just distract it. I'm tryin' to make this thing have disadvantage, basically.

Anna:  Huxley is in bad shape, and it is making him even more angry. So as you do this, Darwin has been trying to retreat to the other end of the room, and he has opened a secret door in the bookcase, which is pretty cool. But as you leap onto Huxley's back and stab him with your daggers, Darwin whips around, and he hits his cane on the ground again.

Anna:  And from this secret bookcase door, just a torrent of birds come shooting out of this doorway, and the one that was on his shoulder joins this chattering, peeping, screeching storm of birds that are just shooting straight toward you. And then he looks very smug and closes the secret door behind him and disappears. Now the room is full of birds, which are all sort of swarming around trying to flatten your face and claw at your head and eyes and trying to peck you.

Alexis: Oh, no. Is the book still on the—he didn't take the book, though, did he?

Anna:  No, he didn't take the book. He just bailed and then left you with a buncha birds to deal with, and they are all swarming around you, Bones, because you just dealt a mighty blow to Huxley. And so they are going to try to bite you and bite your face and stuff. So lemme roll for these birds.

Alexis: It's because I looked so cool when I did a back handspring onto that devil dog.

Anna:  It was very cool, and you're now being punished for being too cool. That's 18 + 5.

Alexis: Oh, yeah. That hits. Oh, it definitely hits.

Anna:  You're gonna take a little bit of bird-bitey damage. And that is a 3 + 3, so you take 6 piercing damage.

Alexis: Ooh. First damage of the game. All right. I'm just crying out. I'm tryin' to still hang on with my daggers, but I'm just like, "Oh! Augh! Ugh! Ladies, a little help?"

Anna:  All right. Top of the order is Henri.

Jessica:            Lots of birds. Lots of small creatures in this area. And Bones is on top of the dog?

Alexis: Yeah. Yeah.

Anna:  Believe it or not.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay. I'm gonna grab the book. And if that invokes an opportunity attack, so be it.

Alexis: Yep. Get the book.

Anna:  Okay, yeah. The birds are gonna go after you. Huxley's occupied. Huxley's havin' a time. But they rolled a 9.

Jessica:            Oh, yay. Wow. Henri's gettin' lucky.

Anna:  Yeah. Sneak through there.

Jessica:            Okay. I'll snatch the book and try to make my way back to the group of ladies. Tuck it inside my giant servant's outfit that apparently we're able to hide anything in.

Rebecca:         They're magical servants' outfits.

Alexis: Of course they are.

Anna:  The servant of the [unclear 01:22:48]. Okay. I'll let you get to the book and grab it as your action, but you're gonna wait 'til your next turn to move again. All right. It's Huxley's turn, and he's very mad. And he has a rogue on his back.

Alexis: That's right.

Anna:  He is going to turn as best he can toward where the rest of you, Isabel and Freddy, are kind of grouped by the door. And he is going to open his mouth, and a huge gout of flames erupts from his mouth. And I need both of you to make a Dexterity saving throw.

Leila:   15 for me, for Freddy.

Rebecca:         18 for Isabel.

Anna:  Wow. You both just fuckin' do some cool move and leap out of the way of the flames. Very nicely done. You both save.

Leila:   Do we take any damage offa that? Like half damage?

Anna:  Yeah. You're gonna take a little bit. Lemme cook that up for you.

Jessica:            "Bones! Get off the dog! I need to zap his ass!"

Alexis: "All right! Just give me a minute here!"

Anna:  You're gonna take 8 points of damage.

Leila:   Okay. So as a reaction I get to cast Absorb Elements, and I don't take any damage from the fire. And I get to store that damage for my next melee attack.

Anna:  God damn. That's cool.

Jessica:            Love that spell.

Alexis: Oh, yeah. Don't we have a Magic Missile, too? Who has that?

Anna:  Caroline handed it to Isabel, but you could have given it to whoever. It doesn't matter. But it's Isabel's turn.

Rebecca:         Okay. Okay. Are the birds still attacking?

Anna:  They're sorta swarming around the ceiling. They go after everybody else.

Rebecca:         And now that I've been reminded that I have a magic wand, can you remind me what the magic wand does?

Anna:  So yeah. You can cast the spell Magic Missile at level 1 three times.

Rebecca:         Okay. So I think that if the birds aren't bothering us anymore, then I'm gonna send these, all three of them, at Huxley.

Anna:  Okay. Yeah. You do that. This is the kind you don't have to roll for. So roll 1d4 + 1 and then do that three times.

Rebecca:         3, 3, 4.

Jessica:            Nice.

Alexis: Yes. Nice work.

Jessica:            10. 10 force damage.

Anna:  Huxley is thrown back, and Bones sorta flies off of his back.

Rebecca:         "Sorry, Bones!"

Alexis: "That's okay."

Anna:  And he's bloodied. He's mostly down. He's still kind of growling and snorting and stuff, and there's smoke and little sparks and stuff coming out of his mouth, but he's in a bad way, and he's prone. Freddy, your turn.

Leila:   Okay. I'm going to go after him with my cane again. And that is a 19 to hit.

Anna:  Oh, my God. Yeah, that hits.

Leila:   All right. 4 damage.

Anna:  Okay. Yeah. You whack him with your cane.

Jessica:            Aw, caned him to death!

Anna:  And he lets out a very sort of vicious growl, but then starting at his paws, they start glowing like hot coals. And then he just burns up into a big pile of ash and smoke, and there's just sort of a burned black spot where he was before.

Alexis: Way to go!

Rebecca:         "Ladies, I don't think that was a real bulldog."

Jessica:            "Thank God. I felt terrible! Okay, ladies, before we attack these birds, one moment. I don't think we're going to be able to get down out of this manor. Since Darwin seems to have gone through some sort of secret door, I think if there's any way for us to rappel down the side or get out some other way, that's going to be necessary. How are we going to get out of this manor in 14 minutes?"

Alexis: Bones is so excited. Bones is like, "Yes, rappel down the side of the building. Yes." I immediately start lifting up my skirts and pulling out a rope and just all sorts of stuff. I've got a hammer. I've got the little piton thing. So I'm like, "Yeah, let's do this."

Rebecca:         I have all of that stuff, too, so I'm ready.

Anna:  As you are gearing up for your climb, all of a sudden the same thing that happened to Huxley happens to the birds. So one by one, just [makes whooshing noises]. And from the doorway behind you, you hear a voice. "Well, well, well. What have we here? Lady scientists. How charming." And do you turn around?

Jessica:            Oh, yeah.

Alexis: Yeah.

Leila:   Yeah.

Rebecca:         Yeah.

Anna:  Yeah. You see a thin man wearing fine clothing. He's wearing kind of a black cravat that's sort of silk and a little bit fussy. He has pretty serious muttonchops and gray hair. He looks older. And he's standing behind you with his arms folded. And he looks at you, Henri, and he says, "Oh, no, I'm afraid I can't let you take that lovely book. It's one of my favorites."

Anna:  And as he says that, you hear all around you above you, coming from the ceiling, a huge, thunderous pounding sound. The plaster of the ceiling starts cracking and crumbling, and little pieces of it are falling on you. And he raises his hands and he clenches his fists and he pulls them down. And you see coming through the ceiling the roots of several trees which are growing on the roof of the Herbarium that are now punching through the ceiling down toward you. I need everybody to make a Dexterity saving throw.

Leila:   12.

Jessica:            11 for Henri.

Alexis: A very dirty 20 for Bones.

Anna:  Yay.

Rebecca:         26. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Wait, no. I can't do math. 24.

Leila:   I mean, that's still super good.

Anna:  Yeah. So these trees start crunching through the ceiling, and there's plaster and dirt and pieces of roots and leaves and stuff falling all over you. And you guys, I'm assuming you're sprinting toward the window.

Leila:   Yes.

Rebecca:         Yes.

Jessica:            Yes.

Alexis: Heck yes.

Anna:  Henri, you have the book, but you get caught by a big root on the shoulder as the tree sort of falls not on you but definitely grazes you. You take 5 points of damage.

Jessica:            "Ugh! I'll respond with casting a bolt of lightning from my cloud at this tree."

Anna:  At the tree that hit you?

Jessica:            Yeah, just on principle. No, no, no.

Anna:  It's a tree, so it's not alive. It's just a tree. It doesn't have any stats. I guess it catches on fire.

Jessica:            Yeah. I just wanna crack it off of me and my pals.

Anna:  Okay. So that happens, and you set this tree on fire a little bit. It's not super bad, but you guys have created quite a chaotic situation.

Jessica:            I'll take my spade out, and then head towards the window and just crack it on the window to bust it open.

Anna:  Roll to attack the window. I guess a straight-up d20.

Jessica:            That's a whopping 6.

Anna:  Okay. You make a little crack in the window, but, yeah, it doesn't break.

Jessica:            "Ugh! Are these windows magical or something?”

Alexis: Bones says, "Not magical, I don't think," and she whips out her crossbow and fires a crossbow bolt into the window.

Jessica:            Yes!

Anna:  Okay. Roll to attack with your crossbow.

Alexis: Okay. What do I have to—14 + 6. Sure. Great.

Anna:  That'll do it. The window shatters open. So now in addition to fire, a storm cloud, lots of debris, falling trees, there's broken glass everywhere. You've created quite a situation for yourselves. Isabel, you are following behind the others running, and you also failed your save, so you're going to get hit by one of these falling trees as well, and you take 3 points of damage as a limb just kind of grazes your back as you run.

Leila:   While Bones and Henri are tryin' to get the thing open and Isabel's being hit by a tree, I'm going to use my Alchemist's Fire to try to distract and give everyone more time to get to the window and out the window.

Rebecca:         We're just gonna set the whole Herbarium on fire, you know?

Leila:   So I'm gonna put my little vial of Alchemist's Fire into my sling, and I'm going to throw it up to where the trees are coming down. Dirty 20 to hit.

Anna:  Yeah, that hits the tree.

Leila:   Okay. And so it explodes.

Anna:  Okay. Now in addition to the tree that Henri set on fire, yeah, you sling the Alchemist's Fire, and it hits one of the tree trunks kind of in an oblique way, so it smashes and then splatters Alchemist's Fire on two of the other trunks that are kind of falling through the ceiling. And those trees are now on fire as well. And you guys have all made it to the window, and you can't see the director anymore, but you can hear him yelling.

Jessica:            Howling in anguish, I hope.

Anna:  Yeah. He's howling in anguish back there. What do you do?

Alexis: "Let's go, ladies. If Charles couldn't stop us, he can't, either." And I whip out my rope, and I signal to Isabel. And, honestly, we just start tying our stuff to the side of the windowsill. And we are super fast 'cause we've been doin' this sort of thing. And I'm like, "All right, let's go." I whip off my skirt. I'm in my pants. And I'm ready to like, "All right. Each of us can rappel down the side in pairs."

Jessica:            Your skirt has a Velcro quick release, and you just rip it off?

Alexis: Yes. I'm just like, "Pew," like, "The jig is up now. I'm in these pants." And so, yeah, I'm like, "I can take one other person on with me. Isabel, if you can take one person with you, let's go."

Rebecca:         "I can do it. Let's do it."

Leila:   All right. I'm gonna hop on Bones's back.

Jessica:            All right. I'm on Isabel.

Rebecca:         "Come on, Henri, let's go."

Alexis: "Let's go."

Anna:  Okay. As you do this, the trees have fallen now through the remainder of the director's office and have impacted the floor of the director's office and are gonna keep going. So the floor that you're rappelling from is now starting to crumble.

Jessica:            So much for being sneaky. "Just four maids rappelling from the fourth floor. No big deal."

Alexis: "Nothin' to see here."

Anna:  Yeah. So you're kind of shooting down the back of the Herbarium at speed on your rappelling ropes as basically the whole top of it is crumbling in. And you can hear, even over the din of all of this, you can hear people shrieking and fleeing. And everybody except for the director and wherever Darwin went were on the ground floor, so if they [unclear 01:36:15], they'll get out of there. I'm not going to commit mass murder in this adventure.

Alexis: No, but it's also none of our business what happened on the ground floor, so yeah.

Anna:  Yeah. The trees smash through the floor of the office, and they kind of get stuck there, but the fire is now raging. So as you get to the bottom, the windowsill just kind of crumbles off. You're close enough to the bottom that you drop a little ways, but you're able to kind of drop and roll and save yourself. And you don't get hurt. It looks super cool.

Anna:  And the whole top of the Herbarium now is just on fire. And it's regular fire, and it's also Alchemist's Fire. And it looks sick as hell but also really dangerous, so you're gonna have to get out of here. And you know that to your right you can see the firelight reflecting off the surface of the river, and you can see a little ways ahead the running lights of the ferry.

Leila:   "Oh, let's run over there."

Rebecca:         "Yeah. Let's book it towards the river."

Anna:  Great. So you're sprinting. I'm assuming someone rescued Tray, I just remembered.

Rebecca:         Oh, yeah.

Alexis: Oh, 100%.

Leila:   "I think they noticed we took the book."

Jessica:            "I do think they did.”

Alexis: "Well, it's too late now."

Anna:  Yeah. You get to the ferry terminal, and you run up the gangplank. And Mary Somerville is standing there waiting for you, and she's kind of gripping her hair, like, "What did you do?"

Jessica:            "We have 20 seconds to spare, but we did set the manor on fire. But you win some, you lose some, you know?"

Alexis: "Yeah. I mean, to be clear, you did not say that we could not set the manor on fire in order to get the book. And that's the most important thing, right? The book."

Jessica:            "Which we have," and I'll pull it outta my dress.

Alexis: "Bully on us."

Anna:  Okay. So seeing that you have the book, she signals to the crew to cast off the lines. And you push out into the river, and the ferry scoots away. And you all go up to the deck railing and look out over the river at the burning Herbarium. You can see a big crowd of people standing on the drive. They're all safe, but, you know.

Alexis: "You made us go the long way around.

Stephen McGann:       Some weeks later, together at Mary Somerville's childhood home in Fife, the lady scientists completed the cure for the disease. Loading carriages with crates of the serum synthesized from a little-known herb described in the book they took from the Herbarium, they said their farewells and prepared to go their separate ways. But they vowed, each of them, to gather again if ever their skills and knowledge were needed.